How to Positively Deal With Disagreements in a Relationship

disagreementsIntimate relationships can bring up very intense feelings. As any person who has been involved in a romantic relationship will tell you, fights and disagreements are quite inevitable. When two people spend their time together, they are bound to agree and disagree on many things. These disagreements vary, they can be big or small depending on the gravity of the matter under question. The fact that you fight with your partner doesn’t mean that you are in a troubled relationship.

If you find that you are in a disagreement with your partner, you have to deal with the situation in a positive way. Constructive conflict resolution helps you gain a better understanding of your partner and get to an amicable solution in a peaceful manner. Being able to fight in a productive manner brings the couple closer strengthening their relationship. As a couple, when faced with disagreements, there are ways to approach the situation.


Employ Active Listening

You need to repeat back to your partner any words you heard them say and ask for clarifications. This is very important especially if you think your partner is becoming irrational. You don’t have to agree with the point of view of your partner, but you can always reason together. Assuming your partner is a very dangerous act that can lead to making the wrong conclusions. Even if it seems redundant, ask for clarifications.

Be Genuine and Authentic

If by any chance you don’t understand what your partner is saying, you do not have to pretend. Be genuine and ask for explanations and clarifications. If you cannot apologize openly, then please do not pretend and do it. Placating someone with the intention of ending a conflict quickly leads to the other person feeling dismissed and manipulated. Let go the idea of pretending and acting the good one in a relationship. You will end up taking a lot of pain and hurt. All you need is to set realistic expectations and speak up your mind.

Set Reasonable Boundaries

If things seem to get out of hand, it is very important for you and your partner to sit down and evaluate where things are going out of hand. Setting limits is key to ensuring the safety of your relationship. It is important that couples understand and learn to recognize if an argument is too heated and when it needs a breather. Sometimes, it is wise to come back to an issue at a later point when both parties have a reasonable rationale.


Patience is key to having a healthy relationship. It takes time to learn each other, therefore it takes time to achieve a perfect relationship. Studies show that conflict lessens in intensity as time moves on. You will find that the first months of your relationship, there is a lot of conflict and disagreements. However, as time moves on, you come to understand each other better and each of you works their way out to avoid upsetting each other. Always aspire to give your best for the health and longevity of your relationship.

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