How to Positively Deal With Disagreements in a Relationship

disagreementsIntimate relationships can bring up very intense feelings. As any person who has been involved in a romantic relationship will tell you, fights and disagreements are quite inevitable. When two people spend their time together, they are bound to agree and disagree on many things. These disagreements vary, they can be big or small depending on the gravity of the matter under question. The fact that you fight with your partner doesn’t mean that you are in a troubled relationship.

If you find that you are in a disagreement with your partner, you have to deal with the situation in a positive way. Constructive conflict resolution helps you gain a better understanding of your partner and get to an amicable solution in a peaceful manner. Being able to fight in a productive manner brings the couple closer strengthening their relationship. As a couple, when faced with disagreements, there are ways to approach the situation.


Employ Active Listening

You need to repeat back to your partner any words you heard them say and ask for clarifications. This is very important especially if you think your partner is becoming irrational. You don’t have to agree with the point of view of your partner, but you can always reason together. Assuming your partner is a very dangerous act that can lead to making the wrong conclusions. Even if it seems redundant, ask for clarifications.

Be Genuine and Authentic

If by any chance you don’t understand what your partner is saying, you do not have to pretend. Be genuine and ask for explanations and clarifications. If you cannot apologize openly, then please do not pretend and do it. Placating someone with the intention of ending a conflict quickly leads to the other person feeling dismissed and manipulated. Let go the idea of pretending and acting the good one in a relationship. You will end up taking a lot of pain and hurt. All you need is to set realistic expectations and speak up your mind.

Set Reasonable Boundaries

If things seem to get out of hand, it is very important for you and your partner to sit down and evaluate where things are going out of hand. Setting limits is key to ensuring the safety of your relationship. It is important that couples understand and learn to recognize if an argument is too heated and when it needs a breather. Sometimes, it is wise to come back to an issue at a later point when both parties have a reasonable rationale.


Patience is key to having a healthy relationship. It takes time to learn each other, therefore it takes time to achieve a perfect relationship. Studies show that conflict lessens in intensity as time moves on. You will find that the first months of your relationship, there is a lot of conflict and disagreements. However, as time moves on, you come to understand each other better and each of you works their way out to avoid upsetting each other. Always aspire to give your best for the health and longevity of your relationship.

Tips to Help You Choose a Good Partner

loveChoosing a partner, be it for dating purpose or up for marriage is one of the most critical decisions you will have to make in your adult life. Many of us know what it feels like to choose the wrong partner. The most perfect relationships are built by partners who understand each other and support one another. It can be a blessing if you have a partner who fulfills your destiny. You can be in a very happy relationship if you have someone who empowers you to be everything you have always wanted to be in this world.

If you want to make the right decision in choosing your life partner, here are important tips you need to follow.

Avoid Panic

Do not make partner choices out of fear. Many are times people choose a partner or even stay with someone they are not happily related to, predominantly out of some kind of fear. This fear can be driven by a lot of factors, including fear of being single, to fear of hurting someone who once showed some form of hospitality to you. It is always better to be alone and wait for the right person for you, than being in a relationship where you are not happy. Do not make dating decisions out of fear, anxiety or confusion.

Avoid Rush

Be careful not to jump into a committed relationship right from the start. It can be very tempting to commit quickly when you find someone you have some connections with. It can be a grave mistake to get committed to someone you yet don’t know fully. Do not be misled by emotions to make promises to the other person, promises that you can’t. When you feel being pushed to the corner to commit, always ask for more time to make sober decisions. When you are in the initial romantic relationship, it can be very easy to make choices out of lust and fantasy projections.

Avoid Checklists

Many people are glued to their extensive lists of traits they want their partners to have. If you concentrate so much on your checklist, you may miss out on some important partners that would otherwise be a great match for you. It is almost impossible to find a partner who ticks in every trait on your checklist. It is also important to decide from the onset if you are going to cope with all the habits you see your partner portraying from the onset.

Look for Important Qualities

Look for those qualities that make the foundation of a lasting relationship. The qualities that help in building a lasting relationship include; empathy, honesty, integrity, kindness, reliability and emotional generosity. If you find someone with these qualities, consider yourself lucky and do not try to push it further. There are other important and humorous qualities that may juice up your relationship. These include; a good dancer, sense of humour, a world traveller among others. When choosing a partner, do not let lust be your guide. Take time to evaluate and be guided by the desires of your heart.